Week 3 Predictions: Nebraska at Oklahoma

Mike: Damn, there’s just something about a Nebraska/Oklahoma game… even if one of the teams isn’t playing at a championship level.

Patrick: How did I get here?

Jill: I moved to Nebraska just as the creation of the Big 12 dismantled the annual Nebraska-Oklahoma rivalry so I haven’t been around to see some of the great games. Even so, a person can still tell that this one is just a bit different than most non-con games.

Nate M: You think the only people who are people; Are the people who look and think like you; But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger; You’ll learn things you never knew, you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon; Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned; Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain; Can you paint with all the colors of the wind; Can you paint with all the colors of the wind

Andy: “Week 3 Predictions: Nebraska at Oklahoma” Reading that, the hairs on my arm stood up and my nipples just got hard enough to cut the glass on that Dubai tower Tom Cruise climbed up with the Simon Pegg sticky gloves in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. And if this ain’t an impossible mission looking for a Hollywood ending, then what in the blue hell is?

Miami-Florida (-6.5) at Michigan State

Patrick: Where is that large automobile? University of Miami 17 Michigan State University 12

Jill: Do we believe in Michigan State? They look to be much improved. Miami barely escaped Appalachian State last weekend. This one might be a sneaky good game, especially in East Lansing. OK. I’ve talked myself into it. Sparty 24 Canes 21

Nate M: Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest; Come taste the sun sweet berries of the Earth; Come roll in all the riches all around you; And for once, never wonder what they’re worth.

Michigan State pulls this off by 3.

Mike: The first time teams play a team with a pulse, it’s always a guessing game. I think Sparty is better, but I think the ‘Canes are mad. Miami 30, Sparty 21

Andy: This is rough. Piss on Miami for obvious reasons. But piss on Mel Tucker because him & Coach Frost are not members of each other’s fan club. Hmmm. Let’s piss everyone off – Miami wins but they don’t cover and have to crawl back to the Everglades with Big 10 score. Miami 19 Sparty 16

Auburn (+6) at Penn State

Patrick: What does that highway go to? Pennsylvania State University 10 Auburn University 6

Jill: Penn State commentators I’ve heard feel pretty good about their team in this one. I haven’t heard any Auburn talk. One-sided sources of information always work out well, right? PSU 17 Auburn 11

Nate M: The rainstorm and the river are my brothers; The heron and the otter are my friends; And we are all connected to each other; In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

Not sold on Penn State yet. I think they lose.

Mike: Did someone say rainstorm?

I’m not sure, but I think there will be more points scored than you guys are thinking. Nitts 31, War Eagle 23

Andy: As much as I despise those “Bring JoePa’s statue back!!!” Dipshits, I have to respect the fact a bunch of Pennsylvania mountain hillbillies screaming like Arnold waving his torch near the end of Predator while dressed like virgin brides can be downright terrifying.

However.

These are Alabama hillbillies who worship old trees like Egyptian cat lovers and will come at out you with a broken bottle or gramp’s prison shiv if you start jerking with them. That white-out shit is down south what they just call a road game. Also, we beat them last year, so.. Aubrin 38 Penn Perverts 28

Minnesota (+2) at Colorado

Patrick: This is not my beautiful wife. University of Minnesota 36 University of Colorado 28

Jill: Minnesota hung tough with Ohio State (although that doesn’t look as good as it did two weeks ago) but then barely hung on vs Miami OH. I think Minnesota can still run the ball even without Ibrahim, but losing an All-American still takes away a dimension other players can’t replace. Buffs 27 Gophers 24

Nate M: How high does the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, then you’ll never know.

I’m not a fan of PJ Fleck and Minnesota but I respect them. I think they beat Colorado by two touchdowns.

Mike: Fleck and Minny typically find a way to win these games. Goofs 28, Puffs 21

Andy: This is normally where I say that Colorado has shown their early season pulse and now will settle into their mediocrity, but…I don’t think guys like Ibrahim are easily replaced. And the Buff D did close down the aTm. Colorado 22 Minny 15

Purdue (+7) at Notre Dame

Patrick: This is not my beautiful house. University of Notre Dame 42 Purdue University 12

Jill: Early season games are an adventure to pick, but this one felt like the easiest pick so far. Domers 34 Boilers 18

Nate M: And you’ll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon; For whether we are white or copper skinned; We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain; We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

Notre Dame gets the big win over Florida State and things appear to have fallen apart in a way ever since that win. I think Notre Dame wins comfortably and covers.

Mike: I’m going to be the contrarian here. Notre Dame squeaks by a bad Florida State squad, then squeaks past Toledo last week. Meanwhile, Purdue has two pretty good wins; make it THREE! The wrong team is favored! Boilers 38, Irish 20.

Andy: Mike picked up on this. One early stumble? Meh, not unusual. Escape twice against crappy teams? Much like Texas the last 10 years and the Domers 9 years out of every 10? Way overrated. I don’t think Purdue wins, but the Domer clowns lose money a 3rd straight week as they fail to cover against a crappy-ish team yet again. Domers 37 Shot & a Beer 35

Nebraska (+22.5) at Oklahoma

Patrick: My God! What have I done? University of Oklahoma 47 University of Nebraska 9

Jill: All talk of progress and improvement ends for a week. The fact that the Big 12 doesn’t play defense (please tell me Oklahoma doesn’t play defense) gives me hope the Huskers break into double digits. Sooners 41 Huskers 13 (I’ll leave it up to you to decide if Culp misses an extra point or makes two field goals)

Nate M: You can own the Earth and still; All you’ll own is Earth until; You can paint with all the colors of the wind

Oklahoma is going to score. We know that. The question is how much can the defense limit Oklahoma while Nebraska’s offense can continue to move the chains? I agree with Sam McKewon when he said that in order to have a chance that Nebraska will need to score AT LEAST 35 points. For the first time, Nebraska will be going against a team that isn’t looking or caring about running the clock so maybe Nebraska can get to 35 points. Unfortunately, if Nebraska scores 35 then I think Oklahoma probably has close to 50.

I think Frost will try to limit the possessions and run the ball, or use the passing game as an extension of the running game to drain the clock. Nebraska 24 – Oklahoma 38

Mike: I had a dream that Frost threw the kitchen sink into this week’s game plan. First play of the game, Nebraska lines up in the wishbone. Then later on, Frost runs Black 41 Flash Reverse, with Logan Smothers firing a pass to Adrian Martinez. And then for good measure, we get a little option I football as well.

Then I woke up, and realize that with the amount of injuries Nebraska has on offense, Frost is going to pull a Callahan at Southern Cal, taking the L. Sooners 49, Huskers 21.

Andy: I’d love to know which of our battered receiving corps actually rolls out tomorrow. I really, really would. Because all wideouts and tight ends being healthy could make things interesting against a team who only beat Tulane 40-35.

This is normally where I sunshine it up, spend three paragraphs presenting the best case scenarios and pick the upset. But dammit, this is the 4th story I’ve worked on today and I’m tired of typing and just want to put the iPad away, so I’m going with a quote from a goddamned amazing bartender.

“How awesome is it gonna be when we win tomorrow?”

Huskers 36 Sooners 33

(As always, I take no responsibility for any actual cash you lose using my advice to bet on college football. If I could pick these games with any mild degree of accuracy, I’d be drowning myself in high-class Vegas hookers in Rio top floor suite with my gambling winnings, not writing for Corn Nation. You have been warned.)