Week 1 Predictions: UTEP at Huskers

Mike: It’s the most wonderful time of the year…

Patrick: Welcome back to the wild and wonderful world of college football!

Jill: We made it through the cold, dark off-season and emerged on the other side with our Kool-Aid mixed and ready to drink

Bri: We’re back!

Jarek: I love the smell of pigskin in the morning!

Mike: PLEASE! NO B1G 11 AM FOOTBALL IN LINCOLN!

Andy: No 11am games for the first several. Performance will dictate the rest. And the risk of a confidence-deflating loss to open things seems low for a change? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE??

Penn State (-8) at West Virginia

Patrick: Pennsylvania State University 32 West Virginia University 12

Jill: I am trying to visit all 50 states. West Virginia is one of the few I have not made it to yet. That has nothing to do with this game, so here’s my prediction. Penn State 35 WV 21 (couches saved from burning)

Jon: Drew Allar begins his second year as starter for Penn State. They have a new offensive coordinator. They should have a pretty good defense. If they’re gonna break out from always being behind Ohio State and Michigan, it starts here. Penn State 31, West Virginia 14

Bri: Penn State’s got this one easy. Penn State 27 West Virginia 10

Jarek: Penn State shouldn’t have much issue with this one. Penn State 34 West Virginia 17

Mike: This is one of those games where you have to wonder about the spread. Nitts 38, Mountaineers 17

Andy: Perverted hillbilly freaks against…the fine people of West Virginia. Unfortunately, this one is still going Penn State’s way, may so many of them still rot in hell. Ninny Lions 29 WVU 13

Miami-Ohio (+3) at Northwestern

Patrick: Northwestern University 21 Miami University 17

Jill: did you know Northwestern is building a new stadium? Husker fans will have even more amenities when they take over in the future! The Wildcats have been awful recently, but this seems like a deceptively close line. Purple team 25 Other Miami 14

Jon: David Braun was able to put together a better season than Matt Rhule in his first year, a pretty amazing start given what happened at Northwestern. Can they sustain that momentum? Should in this game. Northwestern 24, Miami 14

Bri: Northwestern squeaks this one out 9 to 7.

Jarek: I’m not sure what Northwestern lost talent wise, but only a 3 point favorite at home? Did everyone forget this is the same Northwestern that played in a bowl game last year? Northwestern 21 Miami-Ohio 13

Mike: Yeah, I don’t get this spread at all. NW arguably upgraded at quarterback with Vandy transfer Mike Wright and have a solid bunch of returning starters…moreso than MU. NW 24, MU 13

Andy: The Wildcats, after multiple upsets, finished 2023 with a surprising 8-5 record. Will good things continue in a 2nd straight season of not nakedly rubbing up on each other with goat masks under now full-time head coach David Braun? Odds are there will be regression, but let’s say they get by Miami in an unwatchable non-classic. NW 17 Other Miami 14

UCLA (-14) at Hawai’i

Patrick: University of California Los Angeles 28 University of Hawaii 21

Jill: GO B1G!!! Yes, that was as weird to type as it is for you to read. New guys 29 Bows 17

Jon: Hawaii isn’t good. UCLA – well, we don’t know if they’re going to be decent or not. UCLA 42, Hawaii 14

Bri: UCLA 35 Hawaii 24

Jarek: As new UCLA head coach DeShaun Foster said “We’re located in LA”. Except for this week, where they are in Hawai’i. No problem for the Bruins however. UCLA 35 Hawai’i 17

Mike: Actually, I think I have more questions about UCLA than Hawai’i, who’s probably more likely to play in a bowl than the Bruins. And has Hawai’i played a nationally broadcast prime-time game, other than that Timmy Chang Sugar Bowl? (Who, BTW, is the Rainbow Warriors head coach now..) Hawai’i 31, UCLA 28

Andy: Weird things happen in Hawai’i on occasion and their legend, HC Timmy Chang, appears primed for improvement and perhaps even a bowl game with an upset or two. This won’t be one of them, but it might be closer than expected. UCLA 37 Hawai’i 32

LSU (-4.5) vs. Southern Cal

at Las Vegas

Patrick: Louisiana State University 37 University of Southern California 34

Jill: are either of these new Big Ten teams? [Looks around nervously] No? I don’t think so either. Geaux Tigers 20 Aaron Rodgers former team 17

Bri: The BIG is going to have a great opening weekend. USC 28 LSU 21

Jon: Both teams have new defensive coordinators. USC lost Caleb Williams, LSU lost Jaden Daniels, along with Malik Nabers and Brian Thomas, two of the best receivers in the nation last year. I feel like USC underachieves… but in this game, I’m going to take our new Big Ten opponent. USC 34, LSU 31

Jarek: I hate to burst your bubble here Jill, but unfortunately Aaron Rodgers alma mater is just regular Cal. USC however, is indeed another future B1G foe. As for what the hell these two teams can produce after losing a gluttony of talent is about to be showcased. The defenses are probably still not great. LSU 35 USC 31

[Jill’s note: dammit, I was sure it said plain old “Cal” when I wrote the prediction…]

Mike: Southern Cal tried to back out of this game for a reason. Tigers 38, Trojans 27

Andy: Jayden Daniels and Caleb Williams are both gone-ja, but USC’s defense has just been atrocious and the Trojans finished last season 1-5 including 0-4 against the only ranked teams they played, a 50-49 win over Cal and a 38-20 beating by rival UCLA. LSU is ranked and I’m not betting on USC against decent teams until they show something different. LSU 44 USC 31

UTEP (+28) at Nebraska

Patrick: University of Nebraska 42 University of Texas at El Paso 23

Jon: Nebraska 42, UTEP 12

Jill: Matt Rhule’s typical season 2 improvement trend is off to a hopeful start. However, there is still angst and gnashing of teeth because of (choose your own adventure):

-true freshman QB doesn’t look like an All-American yet

-pass rush did not get 5 sacks

-the ball was not run enough

-TURNOVERS!! OMG the turnovers are back!!

Huskers 37 UTEP 17

Bri: The whole game is like a dream and we are all in aww of the absolute beauty that we just witnessed. (A girl can hope, can’t she?) Huskers 35 UTEP 14

Jarek: 28 points is a massive spread for a team that put up just 18 per game last season (that was us, not Iowa). UTEP is alarming bad…allegedly. I don’t think we cover, but it definitely will finally feel comfortable. Nebraska 41 UTEP 17

Mike: UTEP only put up 20 points per game, and only has four returning starters. They are going with an Austin Peay transfer at quarterback who only threw four passes last season. I’m taking the points in this one. “It’s time to win.” Huskers 52, Miners 13

Andy: I calling for something unheard of, lo these last 10 years or so. The Huskers will cruise and cover in a season opener. I know, I KNOW, the damn Kool-Aid!! But UTEP is not a very good team and maybe…just maybe…we are know.

Your eyes have not deceived you – Dylan Raiola is that good, comes in not as gangly frosh, but 6’2” 230 with perhaps the best arm in school history (I said perhaps but c’mon.) Bolstered by a solid, if not breakaway, running game, he and the improved receiving corps will shred the Miners. Their wide-open offense will spring a couple surprises but will also open themselves up to TFL’s and turnovers.

They were 3-9 last season, mostly against weak competition and, for comparison’s sake, gave up 38 points to Northwestern’s hapless offense. Ours isn’t hapless anymore. Now the kicking game…ok, deal with that later. We cover – there I said it. Huskers 48 Miners 13.