Thursday Flakes: Signing Day & Struggling With Loss

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Even the grieving process is inhibited by our current state of affairs

It has been over a month since I received the order from work to remain at home due to the novel coronavirus pandemic outbreak within the United States. The weekend prior to that order my husband was back in Nebraska visiting his family. Unconnected to the pandemic, his grandmother had become seriously ill a few days prior to his trip and was taken to the hospital. Due to the fact he had flown on a plane to get there, he understandably was unable to visit her in the hospital. At the time it seemed hopeful she would make a full recovery. As fate would have it, my husband was not able to visit his grandmother and see her in person one final time before she passed away this week on Monday morning.

I cannot help but be frustrated by the circumstances and the sheer hopelessness of the present predicament we all find ourselves in. How are we supposed to be human under the present condition we all find ourselves forced into? In our Bangs & Dags podcast over the holiday period, Patrick, Nate, and I discussed our favorite sporting events we have ever attended. One of the games I mentioned was one which I was able to introduce my then boyfriend (and just two short weeks later my fiance) to my grandmother, and in fact my last remaining grandparent still living. That was the last time I saw her as she passed away a little over a month later. I still look back on that fortunate blizzard that left us stranded in Michigan an extra 24 hours as one of those special blessings you luck into in life by unseen fate, but it now feels almost tainted by an unfair and cruel twist when his own opportunity with his grandmother was denied him. The nonsensical nature of fate is truly baffling in its barbarism.