PSA: If you don’t wear a mask, you hate college football. Please don’t take it from the rest of us.

Listen, masks are extremely uncomfortable, they make our faces hot and leave a mark and they suck to have to wear all the time. But c’mon, FUCKKKKKK YOU if you don’t wear one. So many of us are having our lives torn to pieces by this pandemic. I get it, I’m unemployed. searching for a way to make ends meet too. But guess what, the ONE thing we could ALL look forward to was our boys taking the field in the fall. It has been the ONE THING making this job search easier for me and I know I’m not the only one. Now, because some ASSHOLES want to make a political statement, we’re not going to get that unless we all straighten up real fucking quick.

Please everybody, put your political viewpoints aside, Nebraska oughtta be the best mask wearing state in the country. Why? BECAUSE SATURDAYS MEAN MORE HERE. It’s like we forgot about what makes this town so special… We’ve always been there for each other. We’ve always been the place where I could tell my boys from college to come in their Mizzou or Kansas (went to undergrad in KC) gear and they’d be welcomed with open arms. And now, the moment when it’s time to really prove that we’re really different, that we really do care about each other and we really are the good life, we seem to care only about ourselves. I’ve become so ashamed seeing that we’re just like everyone else; frauds parading an ideal that is only visible 6 days out of the year. I know, the blue-hair sitting behind you at the game is annoying when they tell you to be quiet, sit down and watch the game. However, I can promise you that annoying ass granny wants to see Omar Manning catching a fade route over a 5’10” DB in the southeast corner of our temple for the first time while the student section erupts just as much as you do. We all love the same thing… and being an entitled, old, rude jackass isn’t quite enough to deserve to LITERALLY DIE because some entitled, young, rude jackass is too (lazy? stubborn? i literally don’t even know) to put on a facemask for an hour at the store.

And hey, if you think this is just another way for the government to control us, I get it man, I’m as much of a libertarian as anybody. Even if it is, we’re Nebraskan’s and last I checked, this was “The Good Life,” not “The Pretty Life.” So cover up your ugly ass face just like the rest of us. It benefits the vast majority of us, because honestly, the gritty ain’t usually the prettiest. But detasseling, running a beer truck, or hauling to the co-op creates walk-on to all-american biceps and now is the time to show em off. We all know BTN is putting the cornhead wearing, denim overall suited fat guy (who we all love, lets admit it, they’re the most fun to tailgate with BY FAR) on TV anyway.

Whether this is some grand conspiracy or not, we’re only getting football back if we all wear masks. If you think putting on a fucking mask on is harder than wearing shoes, a shirt, and some pants, you’re a massive asshole. Not wearing a simple mask because it’s a little uncomfortable not only makes you a bitch ass pussy… it proves you hate college football. And if you admittedly hate college football, fine, but do the rest of us a favor and give us this one, please. If you’re unwilling to do so, is it state-ist for me to say go back to wherever you’re from? For a lot of us, this is really all we’ve got right now.

Edit: Typo

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