Gentlemen. It is a blessed day, for I bear good news:

I have determined, unequivocally, that the hiring of Matt Rhule has broken the curse, and furthermore this curse has been transferred to and currently resides with the Carolina Panthers. This curse did not originate in Nebraska. The curse has a long and terrible history. The curse has demonstrable patterns. I present to you,

The Curse:

Nebraska caught this curse in 2005, and it was transmitted to us the moment Ohio university hired Frank Solich. Solich was a solid and consistent 9-3 coach while at the helm at Nebraska, was liked well enough by players, staff and fans alike. Unfortunately for the fate our program, the powers that be at Nebraska acted foolishly, and their hubris led to what the ultimately was a premature firing. Nebraska hired Callahan, and as we al know, he sucked ass, and our program fell into decades of darkness. Coaches came and went during this dark era, including Nebraska hiring Scott Frost, a legendary Nebraska quarterback, who despite all the hopes and dreams and support of the fans, didn't do well.

Ohio had inherited the curse from Virginia back in 1984 when Ohio prematurely fired Bryan Burke, who was beginning to turn the program around, but was instead replaced before he had a chance to realize his full potential. Bryan Burke was touted as "well liked fella". He was replaced by coach Cleve Bryant who, get this shit, was a legendary Ohio University quarterback who led the Bobcats to two MAC championships, But as a coach he led the team to a 2–9 record in his first year. He followed that up with 1–10 campaigns in 1986 and 1987. From 1984-2005, Ohio University Football were a bunch of shitters. Prior to his hiring at Ohio, Burke was the offensive coordinator for Virginia.

The University of Virginia had been carrying this god-forsaken curse since 1952. Virginia was one of the absolute best teams in college football in the mid 30s and 40s. Coach Art Guepe continued this dominance, into the 50s, losing only 5 games in 3 seasons from 50-52. At the time, giving student athletes scholarships to play football was illegal. the powers that be at Virginia acted foolishly, after a one loss season, Virginia president Colgate W. Darden boycotted the Orange Bowl, which led to the premature departure of coach Guepe. From the 50s to the 80s, Virginia was experiencing decade long struggles. During this time, they hired and fired many coaches…. Including Virginia hiring legendary Virginia wide-receiver Sonny Randle. The Cavaliers were 5-17 in the two years he coached and 1-9 in the ACC.

Further back than that, I am not sure. And frankly, I don't care; It doesn't help to know the name of the chick that gave the guy that gave your girlfriends herpes.

I do know this: If you force a head coach out of your program, before he has shown adequate reason to be fired, your team will be cursed, and they will suck for many years, and you will inevitablly try to turn the program around by hiring a former player with legendary status who is loved by the fanbase, and that former player will suck as a coach and get fired. Need more proof??

The Carolina Panthers fired Matt Rhule after just 5 games into the 2022 season. During his tenure time, there was a global pandemic and many of the games the Panthers lost were close, one score games. After he was fired, Carolina immediately hired Frank Reich, the first QB in Panthers franchise history, a legend. They went 1-10 under his lead, and they fucking suck still, because they are cursed. Carolina fans, if you are reading this, you need to hope and pray that somewhere, a coach is fired prematurely, and you need to hope someone hires that sumbitch real quick.

We are fucking back boys. God Bless you all. Fuck Iowa