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Help Us Get Bob Diaco A Microphone

Okay guys, can we talk about the elephant in the room? It’s Bob Diaco. Well, more specifically, Bob Diaco’s microphone. Well, more specifically than that, Bob Diaco’s lack of a REAL gotdamn microphone.

Now, one might think that maybe he doesn’t know how to use one and that’s why he prefers the handheld lavalier mic. Here’s the trouble with that theory though – I’ve done my due diligence and I found PHOTOGRAPHIC evidence that he does know how to use one.

Exhibit AActually, he can use several at once. So why now? Why is now the time that he has regressed to a handheld lapel mic? Does he think that it makes his hands look bigger? Are having big hands important to him? I doubt it. I think what it is , is that he’s poor. Not only is he poor but the university is poor. And clearly every gotdamn media outlet is poor AND FOR FU*& SAKE CAN WE JUST GET HIM A MIC ALREADY.

So let’s help them.

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